7 Up

7 Things I want to do before I die:

Tour the British Isles with K
Learn the art of stained glass
Take an Olivia Cruise
Marry K (even if it's not legal)
See my son settled and happy
Publish my poems in print
Find my "Way" on the pagan path

7 Things I can't do:

Marry K (yet)
Play an instrument
Touch my toes
Knit
Rollerskate
Wear high heels
Look down from high places

7 Things that attract me to the same sex:

We understand each other
Soft skin
I feel comfortable
Easy to talk to
Just feels right

7 Things I say most often:

No problem
I love you, Baby
Hey there
Sounds good
Take it easy
So, what's the plan?
Have a good one

7 Celebrity crushes (sort of):

Renee O'Connor
Jane Seymour
Ellen DeGeneres
Leisha Hailey
Wynonna Ryder
Melissa E.
Nancy McKeon

7 Ways a Partner can say I love you:

Holds my hand
Caresses my cheek
Sends a surprise E-card
Cuddles close in bed
Supports me in all things
Always tries to fulfill my needs
Calls me Sweetheart

7 People you want to do this: They've probably already done it but would be:

Pam
Bug
Kim
Court
K
Laurie
Ginny

A Coven of One

A friend recently asked me to share more of my Pagan beliefs with her if I was willing. At first I was going to write her an email, but then decided to leave it here instead, since I know she reads it and this way I can share it with others as well.

My post is titled as such because sometimes I do feel that my beliefs are like no one elses but that is OK because I am starting to learn that we do need to find our own Path to enlightenment so to speak. One thing you will notice about my ramblings on religion is that I incorporate soooo many different ideologies into it but I just think that strenthens my beliefs not lessens them.

First off let me clarify too that though I mention Coven I am not Wiccan. All wiccans are pagan but not all pagans are wiccan. Its not that I dont believe in the tenants of Wicca, its just that I dont believe in following the rigid guidelines of any religion. I think religion is the antithesis of God or the Goddess as you will. The core of my beliefs is built more on Mother Nature (for lack of a better word for her, though there are many) being THE Goddess. Nothing is more powerful then nature if you think about it. And I just can't wrap my head around the image of some 'god' looking down on us and saying .."Ok let me have an flood here today to teach this people to bow down to me".. I think nature is the Goddess itself.
But I also dont think we need to worship it. Here is where I get away from organized religion and all its trappings. I think our goal is rather to live in harmony with Nature. To find the Balance is to be at peace.

Finding that balance is my Path. I think the ying yang is a more powerful symbol then the fish the christians use. Again if you think about it..NOTHING exists one sided. There are 2 sides to everything. Even the other side of Infinity is Nothingness which is something.. We are set upon this path to find the center point of this existence and live there in peace. We have even been giving the tools to do so. Our minds are big enough to develop the technology to tell when we are building a city below sealevel or to find the faults in the earth's crust. So if in knowing these things we still chose to live there and we are then wiped out by the forces of nature we choose to ignore. Is it the fault of some God or even the wrath of Mother Nature? Hardly it is our own choosing.... hence or failure to find the balance in our life.

I believe too that nothing happens by mere chance. Kismet is a strong presence in this world and while we are destined to make choices, and suffer the outcome of those. When we begin to walk the right path, the fate of those choices brings more happiness. It was like when I finally opened myself up to the 'way' which is how some pagans talk about finding their center. I started by no longer denying who I was in this world. Coming out as a lesbian brought me not only peace of mind, but also led me down this path and into the arms of my soulmate. Its all intertwined in my beliefs..

Soooo are you confused yet? Its often soo hard to put into words what I have begun to find as I live the life of a Pagan. One good book I am currently reading is helping me. Its called Moonheart by Charles De Lint. There is also a book I read many years ago by someone called Carlos Castaneda (the teachings of Don Juan) that talks about finding "the way" I need to track it down and reread it for sure.

I will blog more on this in the future... Thanks for reading..

Its soo cool to be "out"

Had a chance today to "out" myself to someone and it was so much fun! LOL I know I may seem crazy, but its just soo great to be this comfortable with who I am.
I had my first annual exam here in TN with a new doctor. Her name is Holly Baker and she is really easy to talk to, which is nice. Anyway as part of the exam she was taking my history and proceeded to ask if I was sexually active. I was at ease saying " Yes, but with a woman". She was totally nonplused and just said " Well that counts." Hehe We went on from there like normal which just felt so great.

I did have my first EKG today as a baseline and found out I have an abnormal rhythmn. Dr Baker said it was probably normal for me, since I have no heart problems or shortness of breath at any time, but its just one of those things now that I will always keep in the back of my mind. I hate when I can't let things go. She of course said if she was concerned she would have done more tests, so I just need to relax...

I will get my other test results in a few weeks but she said things looked great. I always feel so much better after my yearly exam, just knowing I am as healthy as I feel. 8-)

Cowboys and Indians

I have to admit, this is a pretty good photo of me sans glasses. It was what I wore to our last Lesbian Dance, a Halloween Party, which was really fun. K and I are really getting into the swing of dancing together and its one of my favorite things to do. If there is music playing I will dance LOL

K wasn't feeling that well that night and ended up not wearing her Indian costume after all, it just wasnt comfortable and I totally understood. I did think she looked cute as a button though and risking the wrath of a femme who never thinks she looks in photos, I will post it anyway.. Hehe I love you Baby!