Halloween Fun

This morning there was this tiny incident in bed while K was dozing and it just struck me as so funny, I couldnt help but turn it into a poem. I sooo love that K is my Muse in that way. She inspires my life in so many ways and I love her soo much. I know Im hard to live with sometimes, but as my recent iVillage inkblog test revealed, I strive so much for Peace in my life and all I want is to be the real family that K and I long for. Turmoil especially when it comes in the form of her XH just drives me over the edge and I feel so bad because more then anything I want to be K's rock right now. I just have to try harder and I will..

Now back to this poem... Hehe... enjoy...

I'm not afraid of Ghosts

Ghosts and witches
don't scare
in the glare
of the sun
You say.

Goblins pose
no fright
when out of sight
in the light
of day,
Hooray!

But soon off to rest
your arm flung
cross my chest,
Kiss my forehead
in bed
and sleep for awhile
snuggling in style,
I smile.

Then your dream whimpers
start
and I wake
to pain in my heart

For now comes
a moan
plus an ungodly groan
as you clench
my left breast
and OW!

Who's scared
of Halloween now?

8-)

Yes I am Alive..

Very Much Alive.. In some ways, more Alive then I have been in 45 years.

I have soo wanted to blog so many times in the last 3 weeks and just wasnt able to find the time to do it. Life has just been crazy, though mostly a wonderful crazy.. hehe... Most of it I know comes from trying to live in 2 different places, so hopefully, once K and I get our apartment together, life will finally be more sane.
The good news is, I think we really are going to have a place by December! We found a complex that is in the right school district, is affordable and hopefully big enough. The woman was pretty positive about have a 3 bedroom for us by Dec so I am trying to relax. The only thing that really has me on edge anymore is the fact that K's DDs don't yet know about our relationship. I know it shouldnt be a big deal because they are so young, but it feels wrong to me to be living a lie in front of 2 people so central to our lives. Besides once they know and are OK with it, it gives K's XH even Less ammunition to make our lives miserable and we can slowly introduce that final step in making our relationship complete and being able to sleep in the same bed, like a real couple. I know its going to eat at me to act out this little game every night and stroll off to a different room, like I am some houseguest....but... I will do what I have to do for my Baby......

On a different note, I do feel totally awesome about finding my 'niche' in this world. By that I mean, I finally feel like I know who Caly "is". I denied soo much about myself to myself for so long, that at times I didnt knew what was real and what was something I was doing to fit in. That uncertainess is gone now, replaced by a much stronger pagan lesbian poet . 8-) Exploring my true beliefs that Nature is the Goddess and honoring those spirits feels right. I dont think though that it is is necessary to "worship" anything or anyone, rather to live your life acknowledging the spirits and letting them guide you at times. To live in harmony with the Goddess is to give her her due; and that I think is all she asks. There is this awesome book on my wish list called

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Paganism
Carl McColman
I hate the title but it is a really cool book.

On my final note for this entry, I also have I think found my musical niche. Of course I like most kinds of music by some artists or for certain times and places, but as a whole I think New Age Music as it is called suits me best. I am amazed that no matter how I may be feeling, if I put on one my new CDs it just goes right to my soul. I feel relaxed, calm, and "right" for lack of a better word. I know that sounds weird but Im not sure how else to describe it. My favorite of favorites is Deep Within the Fairy Forest by Gary Stadler and vocals by Wendy Rule. She is awesome and I wish I could find more things by her.

Well thats been some of my thoughts these last few weeks in a nutshell. As the Aussies say, I feel like I have been on a "walkabout" and met myself on the trip.
I just hope that my Sweet Lady can live with the real me. I love her more then anything and being "me" means nothing if I don't have her by my side. She has been my strength to take this journey, and in soo many ways, the reason for my very being......

Don't put bubbles in a jacuzzi or What I learned this weekend.....*grin

Hehe
Well we just got back from a marvelous weekend in Lexington! It was romantic and relaxing and yes a little bit funny too of course, hence the title of this entry.

One of the things that K and I had looked forward to most about this weekend was our stay in a bed and breakfast. It was a first for both of us and turned out to be all we had hoped and more! I definately recommend the Montgomery Inn in Versailles KY. Which by the way LOL the locals there pronounce Ver Sales not Ver Sigh Hehehe... Anyway, its a beautiful old Victorian home that has been redone and now has 8 private suites each with their own 2 person jacuzzi among other amenities. Its wonderful and as a plus the Innkeepers are quite gay friendly which is really nice as you can imagine.

But to get to the heart of this story. I soo wanted to make this a special weekend for my Sweet Lady since she deserves it so much and I have been really hard to live with these last few weeks and wanted to let her know how much I love her and appreciate her loving me the way she does. So first I asked the innkeeper to have a tray of cheese and fruit and a bottle of wine waiting for us. That part went off with out a hitch! *grin* It was wonderful and definately put is in the mood. So we then headed out to dinner and had a great german meal at a local pub and couldnt wait to get back to enjoy our first night in this wonderful room. We were also the only guests they had that night too which was neat.
So back we go and I started to fill the tub and thought I would make it extra special with a little bubble bath. Great idea right? Sure was until I turned on the jacuzzi part.... ROFL Either you shouldnt use bubbles at all or I use a bit too much because after about 30 seconds I realized we were going to fill the entire bathroom with bubbles if I didnt turn it off! We were both in hysterics! It was tooo funny! However being the enterprising women we are, we simply turned off the jacuzzi and made fine use of the bubbles as a plain bubble bath.. *weg* It made for a special evening regardless and of course left us with a special memory after all. *grin*
The next afternoon after a great day exploring downtown Lexington and visiting the Thoroughbred Center (which is a cool place by the way). We went back to the room and this time availed ourselves to the joys of a jacuzzi sans bubbles. *wink* It was just as special *giggle* Dinner was a grand feast at the local Seafood haven and we slept like babies that night. This morning we finished off the experience by cuddling to some of our favorite New Age music before heading down to a late and scrumptious breakfast then heading home.

All in All its a weekend we will never forget for so many reasons. Most of all we feel relaxed and refreshed which is what I wanted most. 8-)