I can't believe it..

This afternoon I found out that one of the gentlemen I worked with (not one of my cooks he ran the food pantry) committed suicide. I am just devasated. He was in his 50s and a really nice guy. He got on my nerves abit and we use to joke that it was easier to deal with things when David wasnt around, but never in my wildest dreams did I or anyone want this. It seems he went to a local motel yesterday and took an overdose of pills, that is all we know.
Its just so hard to imagine him not being there anymore. He and I worked closely together since we shared the storeroom/my office and 20 times a day he would come thru the door and sing "hello Caly" and I would sing "hello David" to the tune of that kids song "Camp Grenada" and then we would laugh and he would pull up a milk crate and we would chat for a few minutes about everything from my being a lesbian (he was one of the first I outed myself too, he was so cool about things) to how to eat a tamarind seed. He would tell me about growing up in the South Pacific (he lived there for 5 years as a kid) or sometimes we even discussed God and the Bible. He was not overly religious so we talked about it from a more worldly view. He often confided in me about his love life and while he would have down days now and then, I never ever imagined this.
I have dealt with death before. All 4 of my grandparents have died. The first when I was 13 and the last when I was 38 I think, but that seems so different then this. I sat in my chair at work after I heard and the room just seemed so hollow. The last time I saw him was last Wednesday because I took 4 days off of work and part of me hurts knowing that. That day he came into my office bouncing 2 superballs (the kind you buy in a gumball machine these days) and bounced one to me and said here is a present for you. Then we joked and talked about being kids and how superballs were tennis ball size back then and dark blue. I put that little ball in my desk that day and took it out just before I left and my eyes welled up. Much like they are doing now as I write this. David left an hour before I did each day and that Wednesday in his usual way, walked in the door behind me and said "ooooooh Caaallly" and that was my cue to say, "Oh David I bet you are going hooommme now." and he said yep as always. I said have a nice weekend and see you monday. He said "Enjoy Caly"...

I think I will remember him for a long time...