I want to Marry K !!

For the longest time, I thought that those fighting so hard to be able to marry were silly because a piece of paper doesnt change feelings or does not having one make a relationship any less real or meaningful.

And part of me still feels that way. My partnership with K is as real to us as anything on earth. In our God's eyes we are together because of the love and committment we have for each other and nothing more is needed.

Im realizing though How much it hurts and how hard it is when No one else in the world recognizes that union or supports your feelings. I have worn her ring for almost a year now and no one knows what it means. It was a stab in my heart the other day when my Son offhandedly said "K isnt family" Especially because of all the people in my life who do know about us, he is the most accepting and relaxed about Us when we are together. What does that say?

It just makes me feel SOO Alone. I realize that at this time if something happens to me, I will have to die alone, which is my greatest fear. Because No one recognizes the importance of K in my life and she would be kept from my side legally and socially because No one thinks what we have is real.

K's parents treat me like part of the family most times, but I know if any major decisions have to made about anything, I would be totally left out. Im not even in K's Will. Even little decisions about Holidays and trips dont include me in the process, only that they know I will be tagging along.

Thats what it feels like tagging along. The most important people in K's lives (her kids) dont even know about me. Im allowed to be pushed aside if they want something and I understand why K does it. They are her flesh and blood and in truth I am nothing.

Love works in our hearts but means nothing to the world... Im just so afraid to die alone......................